作者: Rapunzel (光明之子) 看板: story
標題: Dante (1)
時間: Tue Aug  3 18:21:01 1999


Standing there, under the verdant birch's shade, "Here lies Dante

Alighieri, whose mother Florence deserted him from her bosoms. After a
life of exile, he found home and grave in Ravenna." I read silently.
Transparent white warm sunshine showered down on my neck and shoulders,
making my figure more conspicuous a target in the cemetery where
there's none visitors, nor any blocks but one giant birch. But still I
am happy for finally I come to pay a visit to Dante, on whom I have
been studying in this semester. And it's going to end. I hope. It must.

       "I don't know. Maybe I'll never be able to come to see you
again, Sir. I might be the next victim." You won't believe it, but the
killer's name is Beatrice.

       "Time to go!" shouted the officer. My sight hesitates, thinking
of so many questions argued and haunting over these seven hundred
years, these seven weeks, still waiting to be solved. I wonder if
Dante's soul can come out of the soil under my feet and teach me all
the answers. I also have private questions. I need a guide. How I wish
you were still alive, walking, wondering in the countryside. Full of
sorrows but also wisdom and prophetic intelligence.

       "Hey, time to go, Miss!"



       I don't know when it starts. When I became aware of some strange
emotions, I am already addicted to the Palm BBS. Maybe from that first
friendly smile, maybe from his tender messages, I find that I look
forward meeting him there every night. After a day of toil, after
roommate goes to bad, after the river of stars stops dripping, under
steady silence and unearthly darkness, I feel I am the princess in
dress, stepping into the space where I will see his tender smiles.



Beatrice: "Don't be fooled by that romance writer."

"Who are you?" I replied. This message is abrupt. I don't know this
person.

"You know me. Beatrice."

"No, I don't. You must have made a mistake."

"But you are Dante."

"That's only a nickname. I chose it for fun."

"But I am your Beatrice!"

"Ms, I am sorry. But I really don't know you. I am really sorry. I need
to leave."

"I am no Ms. I am a deadly ugly man."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. See you next time." I always choose to leave if
anything strange happens.

"Good night, my love. You won't be bothered by that ham writer again."

How strange are his messages. I leave Palm, but really I can't help it.
Out of eagerness to say hello to Lancelot, the smileman, and curiosity
for Beatrice, I enter Palm with another ID. I query both Lancelot and
Beatrice. Lancelot isn't on line. Feeling perplexed, I wonder why he
isn't here. He used to be here at this time. How disappointing. I shift
to my list of friends. Nobody but my own ID there. I query Beatrice
again. She, oh no, he is talking with Head. People always like to have
strange names. Head!

I leave Palm.



"Look well, for we are Beatrice!"

Logging in again with Eron, I found Beatrice dropping me the line in my
mailbox.







"Hey, Angela! Your parcel!"

I tear off the wrapping. It's C. S. Lewis's The Allegory of Love. I
love Lewis, but I wonder who might send me such a generous gift. It's
expensive and you can't find it in any bookstore in Taiwan. I look for
notes, but there isn't any. I thumb through the pages. Suddenly, a red
cross jumps into my eyes.



There isn't any stamps or address on the parcel. It is delivered
directly by someone . . .



I tried again and again, but I can't find Lancelot at Palm. I even
called him, but nobody answers. I feel panic for no reason. The other
half of my brain can't help thinking about the plots which I read so
often in detective stories. If you can't find somebody, then he/she
might already be killed. Almost every detective story' plots proceed in
this way as long as the disappearing one is not the main character. I
don't know. Is Lancelot someone important in my life?



I know I shouldn't be too worried about Lancelot. I am only a shadow
with a blank face for him. Maybe he is on vacation with some beautiful
ladies. However, that red cross at the name Lancelot makes me uneasy.



For people in Medieval era, their marriage comes not for love but for
status or political aligning. Therefore, some seek real love outside
marriage. Queen and their knight is one example. Therefore, when
Lancelot comes late to save Quineva, she scolds him so angrily and he
repents so sincerely. He is supposed to love her at the sake of his
life.



What does that red cross mean?



I never meet Lancelot again at Palm. The last time he came always
remains the same date, the day when the parcel arrives.



I call him everyday, but all the same, no one answers. Thinking about
his promise of the 1001 Nights of his own life stories, I don't know
how to understand the whole matter. A great fear still haunts me, but
on the other hand, I feel deserted. Like an angel abandoned by master,
I linger at Palm, heart-lost.



"Waves of suspicion come to me.

Overwhelmed by endless questions like sea,

Where are thee?

I am sick for thee," sings the tape, while I am not any better.

Fevered.







"Don't let me die. I will satisfy your fantasy." My mind gets into
chaos. How could it be possible?











> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <

作者: Rapunzel (光明之子) 看板: story
標題: Dante (2)
時間: Tue Aug  3 18:21:38 1999


我一直想寫一個這樣的故事,名叫 Beatrice 的神秘怪客謀殺了各派文學理論的代
表人物,而且是用符合當派理論的精華,針對其弱點的死法結束他們的性命。教我
文類研究的教授說,這可能是我潛意識裡的慾望,想殺光系上的教授們。老實說,真
要這麼做,還輪不到我這後生晚輩咧,你如果看過教授們研究室裡掛的飛鏢練習靶
上插的是誰的相片就明白囉!其實,這個構想,在我看來,是很簡單的,文類研究的教
授曾說過,death 是個夠刺激的開始,也代表著推翻舊時代,開拓新世紀的宣言
,Dante,Ovid,在他們的作品裡,都這麼做過。而我,又是根深蒂固的討厭文學理論,
總覺得每一門每一派都有漏洞,都有可議之處,所以我想把它們各個擊破。不過作
夢容易,下筆卻非如此,對整天睡大覺,平生無大志,只求畢業,有空去龍洞浮潛就已
經是置身天堂別無所求的我,一想到得先摸懂各派的文學理論,還寧願先去書店裡
呆著,收收錢,瞄瞄書,順便瀏覽一下街上來來往往的帥哥美女。



暑假,室友回家了,不大也不小的房間裡,就我一個人,單獨生活總是有點無聊吧,所
以我養了一隻胭脂鸚鵡,因為牠的羽毛是淡黃色的,所以叫牠小黃。其實,如果可以
,我最想養的是狗,大狗,越大越好,不過房東姊姊(她堅持要我這樣叫她)老早三申
五令,不許養貓狗等動物,所以我安安分分地只弄了隻鸚鵡來同住。小黃很乖,彎彎
翹翹的喙,似懂非懂的表情,難怪人家常罵「笨鳥」。小黃什麼都好,吃東西也乖,
也不會隨地大小便,每次我回家叫牠的名字,牠就會高高興興的跳著飛著停到我的
肩膀上,輕輕啄著我,呵的我癢絲絲的。小黃唯一可惜的就是有點跛,不過每次看著
牠搖搖擺擺地向我走來,我都覺得我更愛牠了。我會蹲下來,讓牠踏上我的手心,輕
輕的撫著牠柔順的羽毛。小黃是孤獨的我唯一能說話聊天的知心朋友,雖然牠或許
聽不懂我說的話,也不會陪我聊天,更不能帶給我任何實際的幫助,但是每一次看著
牠圓圓的小眼睛,讓牠啄著我的頭髮,就覺得好滿足,覺得世界上最富有的人也比不
上我,因為我有小黃。

凝視著天真單純的小黃,我真希望我和牠一樣,沒有煩惱。



其他人都不知道我有什麼煩惱,的確,唸書嘛,普普通通,雖然一路行來是兩岸猿聲
啼不住,我還是勉強給它輕舟玩過萬重山,生活上嘛,有個超級愛我的老爸,加上一
個超級愛我的老媽,教數學的他們,給了我完全的自由去發展我那爛漫文人的天性,
而且不管我寫什麼亂七八糟的東西,他們都覺得很好。經濟上也有爸媽的全力支持
,所以衣食無缺,有時還可以買些奢侈品,然而,有時候還是會貪心的覺得,生活, 好
像不該只有如此,像喝白開水,清潔純淨,可是偶爾,還是會渴望一些酸酸,甜甜,或
是辣辣的感覺,人不輕狂枉少年,我常這樣想。

夏天就快過了一半了。



「哈囉」

這是我心情好時跟網友送msg的招呼詞,看起來比hi或是hello都快樂。

「嗨,我讀了你的Dante什麼時候貼續集啊?」

哎,寫報告沒恆心的我,寫故事也是一樣,有一沒有二的啦。

「我會努力的,謝謝捧場,日行一善哦。^_^」

「加油啦,欸,不過今天我在報紙上也剛好看到有人失蹤的消息耶,真巧。」

我呆了一下,天天都有人不幸失蹤啊,你這個笨蛋,我的理性告訴我。

「巧合啦,天天都有人不幸失蹤啊,不然你以為你住在哪呀?哈哈」

「是啊是啊,我要送女同學回家囉,拜拜。」

「c u」



在書店裡工作,並不像一般人想的可以看到很多書卷氣的帥哥,像竹野內豐那樣富
有藝術家氣息,眉宇之間流露著憂鬱氣質的人,還是得去電動玩具店或是KTV裡比較
容易找到。不過,欣賞著閱讀書籍雜誌的人們,仍是我工作上的一大享受吧。或是
低眉斂目的眼鏡妹,平凡無奇的學生頭,臉頰上爬幾圈痘子,讀著痞子蔡的新書
,7-11之戀,偶爾笑出聲來,那笑容,使她整個人,好像綻放了的澎祺菊,可愛的笑靨
使她整個人亮了起來。不過好景不常,比一秒更短,眼鏡妹又回復到目不斜視,一點
表情也沒有的故作清高狀,把興奮之餘折的爛爛的書放回原位,扶了扶眼鏡走了出
去,淹沒在喧嘩的人群裡。

或是背著notebook的上班族,年齡三開頭,緘默,看得出來又是悶騷型的人物,淺藍
色或是淡米色的襯衫,不然就是白色T恤,深藍或是卡其的長褲,165-170公分,走到
財經或是政治社會,資訊書區,慢慢的瀏覽翻閱,這樣的男人,在網路上是頗為龐大
的族群吧。沒有女朋友,有的是從沒交過,有的是處於空窗期,雖說事業為重,但回
到家的寂寞也實在噬人吧,所以下班後,解決了一個人的晚餐,就順道在附近的書店
逛逛,看看書,找找有沒有像梅格萊恩那樣的氣質美女或是超炫OL,要是不幸都沒有
,看看書店的小妹也好。無怪隔壁小燕打工的那家店,財經資訊政治社會的書總是
賣的比我們好!

以後會不會有書店西施呢?打情賣俏,撒嬌賣乖我是會一點啦,可是瘦骨嶙峋的我,
看來還是會第一個被fire。

不過我們店的藝文類書籍賣的比小燕他們好,開玩笑,有我這T大詩社古早前社長兼
N大的英X所文學組吊車尾的糟材生坐鎮,不懂也可以裝的啦,反正在文學市場裡打
滾這幾年,小女子也不是白混的,就算沒看過,也總聽過,沒聽過,也想過,與騷人墨
客打屁白爛幾句Heaney,和五四青年閒聊幾句楊澤余秋雨,或是跟小朋友大談挪威
森林白鳥麗子,都還難不倒我吧。天花亂墜的功夫加上一些小小的諂媚,這我還不
欠。

可惜,藝文類書籍賣的再好,也好不過人家的財經政治社會資訊,不過俺已經仁至義
盡啦,生意如何,是老闆的問題,與社會大眾的品味啦。干我啥事啊!



我還是繼續虛度著我的光陰,在日月流轉之間,期待著一些改變......。



今天的夏天有著特別豐暢的雨水。



每次寫期末報告寫不出來的時候,寫小說的靈感總是特別多,是大腦皮質開始劇烈
運動的結果嗎?抑或是苦悶的我宣洩自我的方式,在文字的世界裡,我還是一團模模
糊糊霧白的胚胎,未曾遇見知音的浪子,日子還是一樣的過,報告一樣的寫不出來,
氣候一樣的懊熱,內心一樣的無助,餵完小黃,照例背起背包出門去書店